5 iPhone Apps You Won’t See Anytime Soon
Posted on October 9th, 2008 by Rick MaggioRecently, Google released a new feature for Gmail aimed at helping users keep their cool in times of disparity. Mail Goggles is a new feature in Gmail that seeks to prevent you and your friends from drunk-emailing. Try to blast off an email at 2am from the Gmail interface and you’ll be greeted with a message and series of simple math questions aimed at finding out whether you actually want to send that special someone an email.
After this came across my RSS, I got to thinking about other ways that technology can help us stay out of trouble and deal with difficult situations. So I looked around and the next thing I found comes from LG. The LG LP4100 is a cell phone with built-in breathalyzer. Not only can you verify your intoxication before driving home from the bar, but the phone will also allow you to block numbers based on your level of intoxication. This is the perfect Christmas gift for the chronic drunk dialer in your life.
Now, as an iPhone junkie, my first thought was to find existing apps that can help me keep me deal with difficult situations. Granted, I’m not much of a drunk dialer or emailer, but there must be other ways that iPhone can help me out. Since I couldn’t find much that already existed, I dreamed up a few apps of my own. Maybe someday if I have the time or inclination, I’ll get around to contributing to the slew of existing iPhone apps. Here are my ideas:
Honey, I Think I’m Pregnant App
For any ladies that are having trouble breaking the big news to their boyfriends, the perfect solution is here. Answer a few questions about your relationship, the father (or at least the guy most likely to be the father) and your feelings about the situation and this app handles the rest. Not only does this app automatically generate a series of text messages and emails to your baby’s daddy, it also provides links and information on being a father. This app will first inform dad of the surprising news and then will provide dad with information and links to resources which will help him cope with the end of his freedom.
The ‘Breakup With My Girlfriend’ App
After answering a few brief questions about your relationship and your soon-to-be ex girlfriend, this app sends a series of self-generated text messages and emails to your unlucky lady. Forget about the awkward silences, yelling and screaming. Let iPhone do the dirty work for you.
The initial messages generated are soft and prime her emotions for the big let down. Once she’s been primed, the final messages in the series send a clear message, in a respectful tone. She won’t be happy with the news but there’s really no better way to deliver it. The best part is that she’ll never know that it wasn’t you that did the breaking up. More importantly, the system won’t let your emotions get in the way of getting the job done.
The ‘Quit My Job’ App
This app is similar to the Breakup With My Girlfriend App in that this app sends a clear message of seperation. This app is more geared towards being professional and polite. To begin, this app creates and sends a professional letter of resignation. There are several professional templates to choose from. Next the app issues a series of alerts as to when you should perform important tasks like duplicating your work hard drive, copying important documents and smuggling office supplies. On your final day, this app will also generate farewell letters to all the co-workers you want to keep in touch with and to the ones you never want to see again. All you have to do is set the date of your final day of work and this app does the rest for you.
The Happy Birthday App
This imaginary app is perfect for those of us who can’t remember our own birthdays, let alone the birthdays of the ones we care about. Enter in the birthdays of your friends and families, set a budget and this app will not only send happy birthday messages to your loved ones through email, Facebook and text message, it will also order a gift and have it delivered on time for the big day. Your friends will love you and you won’t even have to work for it. Only a jerk would forget a birthday, so don’t be that guy/gal.
The ‘Sorry but You’ve Been Laid-Off’ App
This will be a favorite in corporate America, especially in these hard times. Notify the system of the employee that you’re letting go, answer a few questions and this app will not only notify the employee of their firing, but will also send email job reccommendations based on their work experience and education. What better way to say goodbye than to help out a former employee by recommending a few new opportunities. By default, notifcations of firings will be sent out Friday evenings after working hours to prevent a scene in front of other soon-to-be-laid-off workers.
I’m sure this list could get much longer but the point is that we’ve only scratched the surface with what technology can do for us. Imagine how easy life is going to be when our phones and computers can deal with all the difficult situations in life for us.






